Well, I’m a homebody. This is probably what my wife (and friends) understand least about me. I know it bothers my wife that I’m happy sitting at home inside all weekend but it relaxes me.
After 10 years of marriage my wife still doesn’t understand that I like being alone. I love my family and friends but I’m really happiest when I’m alone. I know it’s selfish and I make an effort to keep it under control. What I’ve tried to explain to my wife is that I’m “out” all week long, sometimes up to 13 or 14 hours a day. I’m dealing with people and traffic all day long. There’s a lot of city driving that comes with my job. When I’m finished working and on those rare weekends that I don’t have to work I don’t want to go out.
She still takes it personal. Which brings me to Friday. I worked late Friday. Until about 7 pm. I had mentioned, on Wednesday, in passing to my closest friend AJ that maybe we could get together on Friday for a few beers.
This guy has been my closest friend for about the last 8 years. He knows me as good as anyone but even he doesn’t get that I like being alone. He’s leaving in a few months and will be out of the country for about a year. We’re running out of time for a last little get together and I found out too late Friday that that’s what he had in mind.
Friday he calls late in the afternoon saying that he has the grill fired up and beer ready to go. He’d bought a gift for my kid and wanted to give it to me. This was late notice and I wasn’t sure how late I was going to be working. Turns out I worked pretty late for a Friday. I didn’t make it to his place and he took it personal. Problem wasn’t the time so much as the notice. I hadn’t told my wife, I was just going to swing by and have a few beers if time allowed.
It wasn’t too late to stop by his place but I couldn’t because I didn’t tell my wife and I couldn’t spring it on her at the last minute. I eventually saw him on Saturday and we hung out for a couple hours but when I invited him out to eat he balked. He made up an excuse about having to get home. He gave me the gift for my kid and we parted.
Now he’s leaving soon and I’ve got limited time to patch up any damage I did by being lazy. I should have stopped by his place on Friday. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay longer than 20 mins or so, I should have stopped by. Because I prefer to be alone I make excuses for myself and end up hurting people close to me that I care about.
So, that’s how my weekend started on Friday. I worked Saturday until about 5 and then met up with my friend AJ. After our little get together I went home.
Sunday came and I didn’t go outside once. I spent most of my time watching movies. I didn’t see anything worth talking about.
I’ve been down a little since Friday. I feel really bad about not going by AJ’s place. I should have stopped by. I’m sure that since Wednesday, when we spoke, he’d given me clues about his plans. My mom always said I couldn’t take a hint. People have to come out and just say what they want around me or I’ll never know.
I really need to work on being a better friend and my people reading skills. I don’t want to hurt my best friend because I’m lazy and insecure.
On top of all that, I still caught grief from my wife when I got home on Friday.
Can’t win for losing.